Why a Memorial Fund?

Early in the morning of April 4^th, 2011 our son Jonathan was fatally stabbed in the neck and bled to death in his Mother’s arms. Five months later we are still haunted by the devastating impact of this senseless tragedy. In the past, I had heard people say “losing a child is the worst thing that could happen to someone”. I never took the time to think about that statement and really understand what that means. I do now fully understand what that means. Losing a child that you see every morning, noon, and night for 21 years is truly the worst thing to ever happen.

In the hours, days and weeks following this tragedy, the support from family, friends and the community was tremendous. People, hundreds of people, stopped by our house to offer their condolences and hugs. Lots of hugs! People brought food, in some cases literally by the truckload (thanks Best Buy!). I don’t think we had to cook a single meal those first three weeks. If I would have had an appetite, I think I would have gained 20 pounds.

We knew Jonathan was a good kid. We knew he cared deeply for family and friends. We knew stories of Jonathan going out of his way to help others. In the weeks following his death, it became apparent to me that we did not fully understand the extent that Jonathan touched other people's lives. We heard story upon story of how Jonathan made a positive impact upon others. Friends, family and co-workers shared many, many stories with my wife and me about how Jonathan made a positive impact on their lives. Anytime, day or night, Jonathan was there for someone. In retrospect, I have no idea when the kid slept!

Then came the donations. Cards and envelopes filled with $5, $20, $50, $200. It was unbelievable. We are not a rich family by any means, but we did have life insurance for Jonathan which covered 1/2 of the cost of the celebration of his life (funeral). Not knowing what to do with these donations, we asked the advice of Michael Langendorf from the Draeger-Langendorf funeral home. He advised us that some families had chosen to setup a charitable fund in the name of their deceased children. This sounded like a nice option. This sounded like something Jonathan would have wanted. We contacted Johnson Bank and in a few hours, the Scholarship/Memorial account was set up.

Note on life insurance: Each year my employer, SC Johnson Wax, asks us to fill out paperwork to renew or pay for additional benefits. I am lucky enough to work for a company that offers life insurance for my dependents. It felt kind of strange every year to check the box and pay the nominal fee to get life insurance for my sons. Why would I ever need that? Well, in the end it helped a ton. Filling out the claims paperwork was an emotional challenge, but the people at Met Life made it a relatively painless process. Bad stuff happens. I would encourage everyone reading this to set aside a few dollars to prepare for the unforeseen.

Once word got out about the Memorial Fund the donations started pouring in. Family and friends started coming up with fund raising ideas and the hundreds of dollars quickly turned into tens of thousands.

We decided to work with legalzoom.com to turn this into an "official" non-profit organization. The legalzoom people were great. I highly recommend using them for any legal paperwork needs!

As you’ve seen, to date we have had a number of fund raising events and blood drives in honor of Jonathan. All of the money raised will be given back to the community. University Scholarships, donations to the arts, and helping people in need who have experienced a similar loss of a son or daughter. Our Board of Directors is working on our “give back” plan. More news to come. Until then, thanks for all of your support and remember – Heads Up, Hearts Up, Hopes Up. Together we are making a difference!